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Frank Thomas
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Holiday Luncheon 2008

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Frank Thomas

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Frank Thomas is noted for his modesty, morality & aesthetic experiences. A rainbow in the sky has been known to send him into a frenzy of tipy-toe glee. He is a defender of God, Motherhood, & the American Way, Harmony, & the God-given rules of Latin & English grammer(sic). He believes any speaker or writer within the hallowed precincts of the High County Writers guilty of untoward language should suffer group opprobrium & expulsion.

The only subject of Mr. Thomas's writing is a 1 square mile of sandbar on the central east coast of Florida called Melbourne Beach. He has been upturning, uncovering, excavating, fertilizing & unfortunately recording the local scene so long that remembrance of initial interest is lost in the muck & mists & marginalia of long-ago millennia.

Consequently, Mr. Thomas has written 5 wee volumes of history, folklore, anecdotes, & lies on the subject of Melbourne Beach.
2 have been sold to royalty paying publishers. ( About $217.37 total annually).
1 has been regrettably sponsored by the town.
1 has been regrettably sponsored by some former  friends.
& 1 was regrettably sponsored by his wife
As a consequence of these 5 wee volumes, Mr. Thomas would like to ask those he has wrongly wronged for their forgiveness, while those he has rightly wronged to continue on their primrose path to hell.

Mr. Thomas has 2 overeducated children, 4 unique grandchildren, 2 houses, 2000 books, 2 cars, 3 bicycles, & 2 friends-- the True Church, & his 1 & only bride, Annie Hellen

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